I sat outside tonight with a drink in my hand and I realized that for the first time in months I wasn’t holding it because of you. I was able to sit and have a drink without it being anything to do with you. Without any pain. I was able to be with my own company and not hate myself, or even you.
I know that I will still have bad days. When I remember all the little things, when everything gets a little too much or when I see pictures of you with her. But this is the first time that I have felt hope in months. The first time that I have felt something for you other than hatred. Where I could remember you without the tears.
It felt good. I know that it won’t last forever but right now it feels really fuking nice.
I don’t know what closure is; I really hope that it feels a little something like this.