I think I am at the numb stage again. I haven’t had a drink in five days. And once again it means that I can’t sleep. So I lay awake at night and I think about nothing. My head just feels like it is full of clouds. I can’t concentrate enough to think about anything real, so I think of nothing. And I just try not to get out of the cloud state.

Part of me likes it here. I can go for hours not thinking about my problems, not feeling anything. But I know that I can’t stay here long. It wont take much more before it all falls apart and it all hits me. So for now I will just wait. I’ll wait until I feel something real again and hope to God that I can handle it.


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