Today is D-Day. I wait all year for January the fourth so that I can think about that day four years ago. I hate today and all I want is someone here to hold me and tell me that it is okay and instead today I cried and cleaned the kitchen floor so I wouldn’t take a knife to myself. I can handle nearly any other day on my own but the one day when I feel like I need people there are none. So I cleaned the floor and I am avoiding all of the alcohol in the house because I should be made to feel this pain. I deserve this pain inflicted upon me once a year so I can remember not do do something that fucking stupid again.
Four years ago today, I was raped.