Control

Yet again I tried today to write about the guy that I met a couple of weeks ago. Normally I have no problem writing about a guy after I have fucked them but this time it is a little bit different. He met me after my friends birthday at our local bar. Unfortunately the birthday girl was a little worse for wear and instead of being the usual guy figure he carried her to the car and kept the drunk bigots away from her. I was in awe that this guy I barely know would help me look after my drunk friend. So now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place because as much as I know that I need to stay away from an emotional attachment and work on myself I have the loveliest guy in front of me that might want more.

I had the first night last night in months where I could control my drinking and stay sober for a night. And I was so proud of myself. But I don’t want other things to get in the way of my control and my plan for myself.

So what do I do? Do I push him away or keep him around?

This is why I hate men.

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