I inhale the smoke into my lungs as I stare at the floor. I just don’t want to think about how many more fucked up things can keep happening in my life. I mean how is it fair that when someone else fucks up I get told that I am the bitch because I don’t forgive them withing five minutes. I can feel the vapor burning my lungs but I don’t think about that. I am too angry. I read his message again the words pointing out what an awful person I am. I am always the one in the wrong, god forbid anyone in my family would take accountability for what they do.
My heart is on the floor, I just can’t keep doing this to myself. It isn’t fair that I have to fall apart while they swan off on their expensive holidays and live the life of luxury.
But I guess that is what happens with family. They are okay with stepping on you because there is no way you can ever cut them off.