Loneliness. I have never really felt it till now. I know why, I am always leading a boy along. I have a bad habit of stringing people along because I need someone there for me. I haven’t really been single since I was sixteen, I always had someone on the go. And now I don’t want to touch a relationship and I am really feeling the result of that. I guess I am not really alone, I have my friends but it still feels like I am in this by myself. This being that stupid thing we call life. It is killing me but I have to keep surviving it. I have to keep waking up in the morning alone and decide if I enjoy it or not. Part of me is not and the rest of me just want’s someone to hold me so that all of the broken pieces are held back together. So instead I will keep having sex with boys so I feel close to someone for ten minutes. That is life I guess.
It kills me, but there it is.
I am lonely.